Ed!

I asked one of my good friends, Ed Hoffman, what I should write this entry about. I was hoping he’d give me something interesting, like the Chicago 8 Trial, his quarter paper topic. And, Ed, the selfless man* he is, gave me an interesting, deep, profound topic*. Himself.

What is there to say about Ed? Lots. Ed and I go way, way back*. I met him back in Chemistry class, when good ol’ Ms. Bardeen was our teacher. He, Barlow, and I used to sit in the front row and listen attentively to everything Ms. Bardeen had to say*.

We were also in swimming together. Ed was Mr. Geovanes’ favorite student*. He loved when Ed asked him to tell “frat” stories*. Swimming was fun*.

Questions surround Ed. Who is Ed? What is Ed? Why is Ed here? What is Ed’s purpose?

Who is Ed? That is really a good question. I doubt there is a man on this earth, including Ed himself, who knows the answer. For instance, all of sophomore and part of junior year, Ed had long, dirty, disheveled hair. Honestly, he looked like he had been taken straight from a drug trip in the sixties. Then, out of nowhere, he comes to school last week with his hair suddenly shaved and clean cut. Honestly, he looked like a recently sheered goat. What the hell?

Why is Ed here? What is Ed’s purpose? Ask Mr. Meves, the physics teacher whose hair, or lack thereof, is a frequent butt of Ed’s jokes, and he will say “To be annoying.” Ask me, and I will say, “to be the frequent butt of my jokes about his hair. He looks like he got sheered.”

If I had to define Ed in 5 words, they would be, in ascending order:
5). Hilarious
4). Annoying at times
3). Crazy
2). Hippie
1). SHEERED!!

No Ed, that joke never gets old.

JB
*Denotes a blatant lie in this entry.

Quote of the day:
“Binder, if you use that ‘sheered’ joke one more time, I will beat the living **** out of you”
--ED